" I cry for the Love of Marshall"

I have so much that I want to say and yet when I sit down to put it into words, I am not able. So, I am going to attempt to do so  in this blog.
Hi, my name is Marshall Lee Grey, better known to friends and family as Marty. I have a story to tell and I am going to do so right here.
I was born at Walter Reed Hospital in Washington D.C although I am originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The reason why is that Mom was on her way to Maryland to visit her Mother and went into labor on the flight down. My Father was in the Army at the time. Leave it to me to do the unexpected, right! Like I always say, " I came into this world kicking and screaming and I will go out kicking and screaming!"
Just so that you know, I will refer to my "Father", the sperm donor as "Frog".
I could chose to say that my life was horrible, but I don't want to just for the fact that I have learned that all things have to have a balance. There cannot be good without bad or light without dark. It is way to easy to feel sorry for myself when things are bad and do not go the way that I have planned. And to sit around pondering "why", is human, but a waist of valuable time. Rather I chose to find something constructive to do. Many times it is just complimenting someone on something. Many times the compliment is toward someone that I don't know.
It took me a long time to learn how to do this. As with all things in life, I had to learn how. It takes practice and the willingness to sacrifice things about ones self. Such as, life isn't always about me. Having the strength to put another human's needs before my own at any given time is having a deep knowing one self.
It is the negative things in life that create character in a person. If life were chocolates and roses everyday, I would be a lost soul that has no appreciation. Let alone a fatty with all the chocolate.
Am I perfect, definitely NOT! Am I better than anyone else, CERTAINLY NOT!. I just wanted to be someone different in a world that just doesn't seem to want to grasp the meaning behind real living.
Everybody has a history with evil, negativity, bad places, and so on. But it is what we chose to do with all of that yuk that can make us unique in the heavens and in the world alike. As I said earlier, I chose to let those the hateful actions of others make me stronger. I chose to rise above and make a difference in a positive manner. I chose to be constructive rather than destructive.
Religion is a BIG no no in my perspectives of positive and constructive endeavors. I have found that religion is a human way of oppressing its followers. It keeps the congregation feeling guilty about themselves for the purpose of collections. I think the greatest sin of all is to use God's word for the sole purpose of money. If money is the church's first obligation to God above saving a life, then shame on them! That's why there are so many churches and not one of them have any foundation of truth.
Studying the Bible and developing a relationship with God, is where I have discovered the truth behind why I am here and what my purpose is in this lifetime.
I have come a long way from self destruction and have moved forward into self love. But life is a journey worth taking and learning to be thankful for every moment that I am given to breath. I have a long way to go yet. I have yet a lot to learn. I chose to do so.
I have come to understand that the things in life that have hurt us individually are not the responsibility of others to carry. I can empathize with another person and listen to them but I am not responsible for fixing the problem. The other thing that I have learned is to change my wording and view, "problems", as merely circumstances.  And many things in life are just that, circumstances. Never forget however, I too am a long term student in the teachings of life. I forget my own practices and tend to get caught up in the negatives and get an attitude toward them as well. I do get mad. But it's a constant reminder that I am human and I still need practice and knowledge.
Mom, bless her heart, passed away from a long struggle with cancer. It was in her dying that showed me that we as individuals and humans take to much for granted everyday. It was also in her death that helped me to understand that people can be very selfish and petty. Myself included. No pointing fingers. To this day I still find myself getting angry, feeling alone, not wanting to be here anymore, and so on. Life can really suck at times, we can loose everything before the heart beats on more time, but the one thing that will always remain is the choice in what to do with what just happened and the motivation to carry on.